What Losing Everything Taught Me About Gratitude

Gratitude is easy when life is good. When everything is falling into place, when blessings feel abundant, when health, stability, and success are present—it’s effortless to say, “I’m grateful.” But what about when life strips you down to nothing? When the things you thought you could always count on suddenly disappear? That’s when gratitude is tested. And for me, it was during my lowest moments that I truly understood what gratitude means.

The Moment Everything Changed

For most of my life, I took pride in my independence and resilience. I was ambitious, driven, and determined to carve out my own path. I believed that if I worked hard enough, stayed disciplined, and did the “right” things, life would unfold the way I envisioned. But at 24, when I was diagnosed with a rare autoimmune disease, everything changed.

My body turned against me. My energy disappeared overnight. The simple things I once took for granted—like getting out of bed without pain, going to the gym, or even focusing on work—became insurmountable tasks. I lost my sense of control, and with it, my confidence, my plans, and my identity. I was grieving the version of myself I once knew, and in that grief, I struggled to find anything to be grateful for.

The Illusion of Stability

We often think gratitude comes from having more—more success, more comfort, more certainty. But what I learned is that true gratitude comes from appreciating what remains, even when everything else is gone.

At my worst, I couldn’t focus on what I had lost. That mindset only deepened my suffering. Instead, I had to make a conscious choice: to shift my perspective and find even the smallest blessings in my life.

I started with the basics:

• I woke up today.

• I have breath in my lungs.

• I have people who love me.

• I am still here, and as long as I’m here, there’s hope.

It wasn’t an overnight transformation. It was a process—one that required me to sit with my pain, acknowledge my losses, and still choose to find light in the darkness.

Gratitude in the Midst of Struggle

Gratitude didn’t change my circumstances, but it changed me. Instead of focusing on what I had lost, I learned to cherish what I still had.

• I became grateful for the people who stood by me when I felt unworthy of love.

• I learned to appreciate the days when I had enough energy to take a short walk or cook a meal.

• I stopped seeing my struggles as punishments and started seeing them as lessons—opportunities to grow in patience, strength, and faith.

Gratitude became my anchor. It kept me from drowning in self-pity. It gave me the strength to keep going even when the road ahead felt uncertain.

Redefining What Matters

Losing everything forced me to reevaluate what truly matters. Before, I equated success with achievements, productivity, and external validation. Now, I see success as something deeper—being present, being kind, and finding joy in the smallest moments.

It’s in the warmth of a morning cup of tea. It’s in a deep conversation with a loved one. It’s in the simple, quiet moments of life that I once overlooked.

I used to think gratitude was something that followed after getting what you wanted. Now, I know it’s the thing that sustains you when life doesn’t go as planned.

A Message for You

If you’re in a season of loss, I want you to know this: gratitude isn’t about ignoring your pain. It’s not about pretending that everything is okay when it isn’t. It’s about finding light in the darkness, even if it’s just a flicker. It’s about holding onto hope, even when life feels unfair.

Start small. Find one thing—just one—to be grateful for today. Let that be your foundation. Because even in the hardest times, there’s still something worth holding onto. And sometimes, it’s in the losing that we truly learn how to see what we have.

So yes, losing everything changed me. But it also gave me something invaluable: a heart that sees, appreciates, and cherishes life in a way I never did before. And for that, I am grateful.